In the middle of a restless night sometimes its a piercing physical pain that wakes you up
when you are helpless lying in bed not knowing how to reach for your medicine.
when it seems you can not even dare to turn to another side as it may worsen the pain.
when even if someone is sleeping next to you, you don't want to wake them up and ask for help.
that's the moment of revelation that there is just one divine force who is there for you, giving you the energy to move, fetch your medicine, relieve you of pain.
That is when we realize it was Him who gives us pain in the first place, to flinch, to weep, to bear. This bearing makes us stronger, this weeping makes us go on and smile again.
A night is one of the most beautiful gifts granted to us, for it makes us closer to the ones we love. Be it the worldly relations or the supreme connection.
So in pain tonight, I found Him,
And in pain tonight, I found the courage to move on.
There is nothing but silence
That travels from me to you
Yet there is a resonance of feelings
Creating soulful vibrations
Through the wires of silence
Tuning us both to one rhythm
If you are there to hear
I do not ask for things in return.
I never do.
May be I am too egoistic for that matter.
But then things, favors, blessings, relation, love, kindness and people come to me naturally when they are meant to.
Just like one day you came to me. Or may be more than once?
out of nowhere, as if it was a new music that my ears never heard of.
A new book that I never had an idea about.
A new painting that was hidden somewhere in a museum.
A new star that began to shine on my horizon.
A new color that I never wore before.
A new shade that I painted my lips with.
As if my heart was beating since ever but it changed its rhythm the day I found you.
A new rhythm.
And whenever I look back and try to figure out what it may have been, I fail to understand.
The only thing that I realize is, its a once-in-a lifetime thing.
It may not remain forever, but it will not happen again.
And it does not happen to people every day.
And it does not happen to people even once.
Though I do not ask for anything in return.
But sometimes I want to ask you to return, everything I ever felt, to return back, the time, the feelings, the pleasure and pain, the smiles and tears, the sharing and blessings, every single thing.
So that I can go back in time, place them where they were and find my old self again.
The old self who never knew you in the first place.
Because this once in-a-lifetime thing does not only bring pleasure. It also brings pain.
When your heart becomes the grave of your secrets, that desire of yours will be gained more quickly. The prophet said that anyone who keeps secret his inmost thought will soon attain the object of his desire. When seeds are buried in the earth, their inward secrets become the flourishing garden.
~ Mevlana Rumi
When I am with you, we stay up all night. When you are not here, I cannot go to sleep. Praise God for these two insomnias and the difference between them.
~ Mevlana Rumi
The rain-weeping and the sun burning twine together to make us grow. Keep your intelligence white-hot and your grief glistening, so your life will stay fresh. Cry easily like a little child.
“A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it's the most painful thing you'll ever have to do and that you've ever done. But what's yours is yours. Whether it’s up in the sky or here in your hands. And one day, it'll fall from the sky and hit you in the head real hard and that time, you won't have to put it back in the sky again.”
If you could notice
The restlessness of waves
Even though they go back
After hugging the beach sand
The separation between them
Is only a matter of moments
Yet the waves rush back
As hungrily as they could
Time and again, to the beloved
If you could notice this
Then you may not need to
Wonder about my restlessness
Clouds covered sky
Spread like a canopy
Bits of rain showers
Here and there
As the enormous waves
Touch and then leave
The smooth sands of beach
My walking foot struck
A floating, tightly capped bottle
As I picked up and noticed
It had a white paper inside
Message in a bottle?
The message I knew somehow
Would come to me someday
With curiosity shaking each
Of my nerve endings
I uncapped it and unfolded
The paper with care
To my surprising eyes
It was all clean
No shades of colours
No traces of words
No sketch or painting
May be in a hurry
You forgot to write
What you intended to.
When my readers complain , and so often they do, that my stories do not make a happy end.
They sometimes argue with me to great length.
I only give them a smile because I can not explain them the lesson I learnt the hard way.
"There are no happy endings. there are just losses and lessons".