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Something else

No its not writer's block Its something else Just wondering why am I not writing much these days!

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Mata e alfaaz


یہ جو تم ! مجھ سے گریزاں ہو ! میری بات سنو !
ہم اسی چھوٹی سی دنیا کے ، کسی رستے پر
 اتفاقا" ، کبھی بھولے سے ، کہیں مل جائیں !
کیا ہی اچھا ہو ! کہ ہم دوسرے لوگوں کی طرح

  •  کچھ تکلف سے سہی ! ٹہر کہ کچھ بات کریں !

اور اس عرصہء اخلاق و مروت میں ، کبھی
 ایک پل کے لئیے ، وہ ساعت نازک ، آ جاۓ !
ناخن لفظ ، کسی یاد کے زخموں کو چھوۓ !
ایک جھجھکتا ہوا جملہ ، کوئی دکھ دے جاۓ !
کون جانے گا ؟ کہ ہم دونوں پہ ، کیا بیتی ہے ؟
 اس خامشی کے اندھیروں سے ، نکل آئیں ، چلو !
کسی سلگتے ہوۓ لہجے سے ، چراغاں کر لیں !
چن لیں ! پھولوں کی طرح ، ہم بھی ! متاع الفاظ
 اپنے اجڑے ہوۓ دامن کو ، گلستاں کر لیں !
دولت درد ، بڑی چیز ہے ! اقرار کرو !
نعمت غم ، بڑی نعمت ہے ، یہ اظہار کرو !
لفظ ، پیماں بھی ! اقرار بھی ! اظہار بھی ہیں !
طاقت صبر ، اگر ہو ! تو یہ ، غم خوار بھی ہیں !
ہاتھ خالی ہوں ! تو یہ جنس گراں بار ، بھی ہیں !
پاس کوئی بھی نہ ہو ، پھر تو یہ ، دلدار بھی ہیں
 یہ جو تم ! مجھ سے گریزاں ہو ! میری بات سنو !
یہ جو تم ! مجھ سے گریزاں ہو ! میری بات سنو ۔۔۔!!!

 زہرہ نگاہ

Sunday, May 21, 2017

A stone which sheds tears

Some relationships exist on rules and regulations
Similar to paper work and documents in government offices
They enforce the participants (usually the one who is on the obeying side) to obey, follow, and do as directed.
In return they sometime grant them a smile or a gentle tone. Which is something not coming easily.
Feelings, care, love are unheard of.
Sometimes it's more like a servant master relationship.
Till the day you fulfill all demands, finish your required work on time, everything is smooth
And the day something remains undone, you will be cursed.
Sometimes these kind of relationships are akin to slavery.
Where feelings don't exist relations die a silent death.
And it happens so often that the pain of the loss really emerges and one needs to cry
Cry not out of suffering but suffocation
Crying not for the death of a relationship but at the waste of feelings and emotions
Some people are made of stone
They are so rock like that they may crush their partners feelings
And turn them to stone too
But only rarely
This stone may shed tears.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

End of the day

At the end of the day
The day which was tiresome
And never ending
When my back hits the bed
My eyes as they flutter in
An effort to remain open
My mind drifts back to
Where it should not!

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Mother's Day

Seems I never recover
Seems those lacerations never heal. They leave marks which becomes  alive often.

Seems there is persistent emptiness inside.
It resonates
Any effort to heal deepens the hole

But only for two people who love me endlessly
For no reason
With all my faults
My mother and my daughter
If they weren't there
I would have shattered to bits.

Every day is Mothers day
Every day is daughters day too.


Hooked

Friday, May 12, 2017

Trouble

You know you are in trouble when you can't figure out

What's bothering you
What's missing in you
What is that you want really and
What is it you want to run away from?

Monday, May 8, 2017

08-05-17

Its a disturbingly beautiful moonlit night
I am out in search of my sleep

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Solution

I know
Cutting from atmosphere and the habitats in it is not the solution
But there are times when we don't want to be with anyone
No one
I intend to shut myself down for a while
May be it would help me understand what is going inside my head
and heart


The pleasure

Reading was a late night pleasure
In times where there were no you
And none of your charming talks
Reading it is again, though the charms
Have lessened and the pleasure is none
Yet it proves how faithful a book could be
When compared to ever changing humans

Monday, May 1, 2017

Replaced

We shall die
One by one
Bit by bit
Sudden or slow
Though we don't know
But we shall be gone
Never to return
The world would be
Either same or worse
it wouldn't matter
Except for a few
A few who really
Ever cared for you
This world would go on
Even without us
The place will be replaced
The space will be filled
Except for those
Who knew you through

Saturday, April 22, 2017

The bright side

Surely I'm better off now
Than I was years ago
The years when I missed you
Yet I felt you nearby
Now that I'm more of
a loner with you
Nowhere in sight
I sometime miss
My bright side
Where the twinkling
In my eyes and
The glow of my skin
Was a reflection
Of You

Thursday, April 20, 2017

This phase

In the irregular path of life there comes a time when have been through so much that a threshold arises. After which the flow of emotions is washed away. Nothing matters, nothing bothers, nothing bubbles up the feelings, nothing stirs the strings of the heart.
This phase might be transient but it has deeper impact. It might lead to the old path where one goes back to being old self or worse still, it may transforms you into a new being which breaks the chain of past connections only to kick off a new beginning. 

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Nothing heals

Nothing helps
Nothing heals
Neither a good book
Nor a huge movie
No busy schedule
No serious business
We keep on looking
In every remote corner
To seek refuge
But sometimes
Nothing helps
Nothing heals

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Assumption

Stories of lost love survive forever
But that had to be love
With it's truth, intensity and depth

Stories of infatuation are lost
Because there exists no love
There is only soon-ending desire 

Stories of assumption exist too
With all its uncertainty 
For there is no love in between
There are only assumptions

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

That Path

Sometimes we move ahead in time
Along a path which has some stopovers
Sometimes the pause is short yet deep
Sometimes it's just too quick to remember
And from an elevation where we climbed
When we look down below the taken path
A strange feeling arises
Was that the stop over, really?
Was it really myself?
Was it a reality?
Was it not a dream?
The path smiles knowingly
This too shall pass

Monday, April 3, 2017

No reason

There was no reason
For me to stop you
From going away

There was no reason
For me to think of you
Through nights and days

There was no reason
For you to move away
Never to return back

There was no reason
For you to take away
My words, my wishes

And though I didn't ask
You to stay
Nor do you
Intend to return
Send me back
My words
My wishes
My waiting.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Resemblance

And when I saw him yesterday
In a strange city
Among so many strangers
He stood out
Because he
Resembled you

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Reflection

The time I spent with you
Was the time I spent with myself
It wasn't only you I was being with
It was as if I was exploring my core
And now neither of it remains
Not you , Nor I, not the time
And the the mirror waits on
For that one reflection
Which witnessed us together

Sunday, March 12, 2017

wandering soul

The wind today
Sounds so shattered
Feels so deserted
Seems so disoriented
I could hear the echoes
Of  my wandering soul
I could see the reflection
Of my saddening core

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

A letter to Myself.

Dear Myself

I have been missing you, the cheery, lively, ready-to-do, music-and-art-loving, author and poetic self lately.

And it has been ages I'm waiting for your return.

Love

Me.


Monday, March 6, 2017

مٹھی بھر لمحے

وقت کچھ یوں دوڑ رہا ہے کہ آہٹ  بھی نہیں ہونے پاتی 
کچھ لمحے جو گرفت میں لینا چاہیں بھی تو 
ہاتھوں کی انگلیوں کی پوروں سے چھن  کر 
پھسلتے چلے جاتے ہیں 
 بند مٹھی  کھولیں تو 
چند بے نام ذرے 
چند کم مائیگی  کا احساس دلانے والے 
چپ چاپ  لمحے 
ہتھیلی کی فصیلوں پر 
سانس لیتے ، جیتے جاگتے 
جھلملاتے ، دکھائی  دیتے ہیں 
اور ان چند سانس لیتے 
بے نام لمحوں کو 
کچھ دیر اور سنبھال رکھنے کو 
ہم مٹھی پھر سے بند کر لیتے ہیں 

نازش امین 

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Growing pains

When we grow old our pains grow bigger too.

And at times expressing them as violently as they are being felt, can deepens the pain.

When every factor is an aggravating factor and there is no hope of consolation

It's better to be brave and face them single handedly.

Only sometimes, we can not.


Monday, February 20, 2017

Stillness

The clock ticks
time moves on
the day runs
evening pass on
The work progresses
people go on
All the characters
display their acts
descend from stage
dissolve in space
And yet I am still
watching them
unmoved, unfeeling
enveloped by stillness




Friday, February 17, 2017

"Coming Back To Life" Pink Floyd



Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
And where were you when I was hurt and I was helpless
'Cause the things you say and the things you do surround me

While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight ...into the shining sun

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Takiyah Tarar Khi Feb 2017

Anticipation can take you to heights and lows. That I knew already and yet still it is an altogether different feelings each time. In early January with the beginning of 2017 I received a text from M.Atif Farid that I should be ready to organise yet another event in early February during Karachi
Literature Festival dates. Since it was strongly expected that Sir Tarar would be in town during those dates. As usual I was on a tight schedule. 18th January was the date for an important conference presentation and I had no time to work on this task. The day this conference was over , Atif bhai reminded me to lead the event which was in pipeline since December. From 19th January to 12th Feb was a short duration to arrange everything. But there was no chance of denying and running away. A person like myself who always is happy in functioning from behind the scenes, was supposed to be quite uncomfortable coming to the front and lead. In all previous events I kept a low profile. But since 2013 when we had our first Karachi meet up, it took him 4 years to bring me to front lines. And only he can do that trust me.
With help of Apa Tahmina Sabir and of course Atif Farid we gathered up initially those who wanted to help us organise the event. New and old friends together. Then this mutual decision was finalised to invite guests instead of regular attendance system since those selected in November couldn't have a chance to meet sir Tarar in person. We began to invite them in.  Faryal Usman Khan, Hajra Rehan, affifa , samina Tariq, sobia Abbas could not make it. Lubna Tahir helped me a lot with her practical suggestions. I was constantly in touch with Sir Tarar, discussing KLF program, his sessions and the event date. Finally his flight schedule arrived and we were sure of his presence in Karachi.
On fb we had our secret group ready with enthusiastic fans of sir deciding venue, menu and what not. Finally after selecting and rejecting multiple clubs and restaurants, we managed to visit Hamdard university city campus as our event venue, where dear qanita imtiaz was an amployee and Mr. Anas Naseem Siddiqui , the deputy director promised to help us with all arrangements. The decision was made and arrangements were finally all decided.
For souvenirs dr Muhammad Waqas was a great help to me. We wanted to present something memorable to our guests. Apa Tahmina sabir secretively decided to order a cake for sir Tarar pre bday celebration. Sea food was on top of the menu list since it was our cheif guests favourite dish. Yet we managed to arrange biryani, Haleem, chicken karhai, chicken makhani, two sort of fish and rabri.

We wanted to use this platform for an awareness campaign regarding environmental pollution in northern Pakistan, which was the finalised theme of this event as suggested by Tahmina Sabir. Majid Hussain was assigned a pictorial presentation in this regard. Muzamila. And Shah jee were supposed to share their experience of north verbally. Rest of the guests were to read excerpts from sir Tarar books. I planned to make a small presentation on Karachi events in past and the takiyahs that have been conducted so far.
 Although I spent a whole day with MHT just before the event, attending sessions with him at KLF and seeing him surrounded by his fans from all over the city. He looked much fresh than the previous year MashaAllah. Everything was fine and Yet it was the anticipation which was bothering me. Sunday early morning, kamran Salem from Sialkot who was staying with sir , texted about sir being unwell. This was enough to build up my stress level. Being doctor is not easy and specially if it's anything about our dear ones. When Sir Tarar is in my city I feel my responsibility of taking care for him increases many folds. I expected that the event would be cancelled but he only asked for a delay of one hour. He is gracious and kind and specially to Readers world fellows.

So the show went as planned even much better because of sir Tarar presence. we learned a lot in his company. I humbly requested sobia and Usman to help sir buy the medicine I prescribed for sir on their way back to hotel. The last thing he said to me while we were seeing him off was,  I feel much better Nazish after this event. And this was the success. The end of anticipation in a rapturous achievement.


Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Natural Existence

I feel 
left behind
disconnected
missed out
when it comes to 
keep up the pace
with this world
The world which is
deceiving
irrational
illogical
and fake.
And in the made-up world
I want to exist my
natural existence.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Some dates

Some dates are not extraordinary
Only that writing down them
Makes the pen shiver a bit
Enough to knock at the memory gates

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Hariharan



https://youtu.be/xcRhNy-6iok

In this rain on
A chilled winter eve
Listening live to
An ametuer singing
Sad tunes of hariharan
What more could be
Heart tendering?

https://youtu.be/xcRhNy-6iok

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Let it rain

Let it rain
as beautifully as it does
Let it take away
the dust which it holds
Image result for rain on windowsand the way it flows
on the glass windows
akin to the pain
running down my veins
long after it has
broken down the chains
let it rain
let it rain


*First winter rain in Karachi. 13-01-2017*

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Zaat

کبھی کبھی یوں لگتا ہے جیسے تنہائی سے  اچھی کوئی رفاققت نہیں 
جب آپ اور آپ کے جذبے کسی کے لیے اہم نہ رہیں 
جب آپ کو اپنی موجودگی کا احساس دلانا پڑے 
جب آپ ہوتے ہوے بھی غیر موجود ہوں 
ایسے میں  صرف  ذات ہوتی ہے ، جو ساتھ دیتی ہے 
مگر اس ذات کے ساتھ وقت گزرنے کے لیے تنہائی درکار ہوتی ہی 
خود اپنے آپ سے بھی تو ملنا ضروری ہوتا ہے 
تو طے  یہہوا کہ اپنی ذات کا ساتھ سچا ہے 
شاید اس سے اچھی کوئی اور رفاقت نہیں 

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Distractor

There are reasons to
dislike this weather
It is a dis-tractor
from workload to music
From books to poems
From death to hopes
From hatred to love
It distracts and hurts
This chilled weather


Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Never look back

Time flies and doesn't leave behind anything
The marks of reminder gradually fade away
As much as the reality that had mildly existed
Appears to be a remote foggy dream
The characters played their role and disappeared
Behind the curtains of a real life melodrama
Transforming into another act
This is how sweet Dreams shatter
This is how we become another being
Almost entirely losing our favorite roles
Never to look back, for a happy ending.