Silent Whispers - Revisited

Its amazing how time recycles.... I was around 8 years when there was summer Ramzan with prolong rozas And now my only child is around the same age just waking up for sahoor yet no intention to fast :)

Ramadan brings along so much peace, practice, piety, purity  and memories

It wasn't a bed I was sleeping on It was something flowing and colder It was something having waves I was floating instead of sleeping with my face facing the sky and the flowing water being my bed with all my hair open and wet with my gown rustling with air my eyes were peacefully shut yet the dreams were flowing through them And somebody was watching keenly from a distance It wasn't a dream, was it? Or I was floating somewhere between  wakefulness and dreaming?

Your dreams still haunt me And I thought it was over!

And then I met her. She waited and insisted on me to take out sometime for her. At times a human is a the biggest sympathy to the other, a soul which could be trusted, which gives you a chance to vent out, a  heart who sympathizes yours and extends a tenderness which is generally unknown. Somebody who waits for your coming and reluctant for your leaving. Simple and unremarkable people at times become very special and close. Bond develops and relationship ensues. A human to human relation could be the purest. People honor you sometimes. 

Time and again I realize there is a secret behind being interconnected. People who initially feel attracted towards each other and may stay connected for long is not merely a coincidence. It isn't even about only looks and appearance. Its something deeper. Something more complicated. Actually being together for sometime may make you realize, beauty is really skin deep. You find pleasure where most people don't. You find beauty which is usually not seen through worldly eyes. You come closer and make confessions, you ask someone to give you their time, you wait for their comings and count their goings. You vent out your deeper secrets comfortably, you develop an unknown trust. How these things happen is a mystery. But I am sure for one thing, it does not happen everyday, with every other person, and when it does, you should know how to value it.

ترے  اتارے ہوے دن پہن کے اب بھی میں  تری مہک میں کئی روز کاٹ دیتا ہوں  گلزار 

There are times when a search does not give you anything except nothing-ness and restless-ness 

Too small or too big I collected them all The lovely pebbles The waves come and go Touch them to leave Push them or cleave They stay for they know The waves will have to Always return to them

Sea is calling me With the soft sand and high waves I shall play A lonely walk on the shore And some more dreams I shall weave

And then a time comes when you can not decide which pain is more intense, physical or emotional?

I hate it when every other case I report has malignancy. It is dreadful telling people they have a disease which would not let them survive for long.  I wish there was more happiness and less misery around us I wish I have more good news for my patients. I wish I could spread smiles instead of tears.

Really? Could that be myself? The mirror must be playing games Who is this stranger reflecting? Why do I miss my old self?

The quest for Love changes us. There is no seeker amongst those who search for Love who has not matured along the way. The moment you start looking for Love, you start to change within and without.

The moon encirlcles the orbit to renew the dates. Bringing back some Holy nights and some memories each year. It was the same moon and the same Holy night sometimes back that a new name was added to my prayer list. It didn't remain new after all. But then again people come and go. You lose connection. They want you to forget. But the moon is such a reminder. Bringing back Holy nights. Bringing back memories.

(Do not wonder. Some words are meant for some people, so they touch deeply and leave an impact. This script had so many words written only for me, so do not wonder.) Losing Diana was like losing a part of me. I thought nothing could change the way we felt about each other I thought we were invincible. Diana :  If you ever want something badly, let it go. If it comes back to you, then it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never yours to begin with. John : Dance? Diana : I should go. John : I remember once when I was young, and I was coming back from some place, a movie or something. I was on the subway and there was a girl sitting across from me and she was wearing this dress that was bottoned queer up right to here, she was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And I was shy then, so when she would look at me I would look away, then afterwards when I would look back she would look away. Then I got to where I was gonna get off, and got...

There aren't much charms In a midsummer night Unless you begin to count The beauty of a full moon Shining down on you Ah, Let me fall in love again On this midsummer night

How you never met and feel togetherness How you never part and feel all the pain 

I know I am gonna die soon but certainly not in this war zone, leaving behind my child alone in the jungle of animals wearing human masks.

A few dry petals about to lose their fragrance some music green tea and lots of work

At times being straightforward can open the doors to suffering At times I wish I could be as hypocrite as the world around.

Everything was suffocating about the night. Heat, humidity and an ill defined ache. Night which had been a faithful companion to her for long, was gradually becoming scary and unfriendly. She tied up her hair in a high knot and left the bed. This was going to be another insomnia episode. Sometimes running away becomes painful. Sometimes getting back to memories is the only solution, not that it would make any difference. So slowly she was getting back to memories. Some people do not take permission before entering into the smoothly running stream of your life, no knocks, no bells, no warnings. They just come and with their persuasive presence change everything, turning them upside down. And then the dream is over in less than fraction of a second and you find an stranger looking back into your eyes. Without even a goodbye kiss. But what of the effects their short lived presence had left behind? Bewilderment! Insomnia! Loneliness! Suffocation! Certainly this w...

I wish realities weren't as harsh or they were less cruel I wish I was as stronger as I appear. 

Cant be lonelier than I am today.

If I may accept the fact somehow that time spent and words spoken could have been deceitful Still there is no way I could believe the words spoken by those eyes were untruthful.