Silent Whispers - Revisited

Wish we could walk on the beach with waves touching our feet and hands held together in a lovely weather like tonight.

At a silent hour In the middle of a night When ever I wake up I look for your presence

They were in classroom waiting for the last lecture to begin when suddenly Mawra picked up her bag and moved to leave. Sila looked at her with a quizzical brow. 'Im going. No intention to attend thd lecture' said Mawra 'But why?' Asked sila 'You know my moods' shrugging her shoulders she moved out of the lecture hall All she wanted was to be alone. To spend sometime with herself. The walk from her department to the main university gate was already half an hour long. Usually her driver used to pick her up right outside her department. But she had other plans in mind today. There was this another road leading to the alternative gate of university,mainly used by the faculty members and residents living inside university campus. It was solitary, green and much longer. She took the road to walk alone. The driver was already been instructed to collect her from the alternative gate. It was a silent autumn afternoon. As silent as she was. Inside out. She was w

Desire is mystery. It builds up and sparks the flame. But as much as it takes to burn, it tends to put off at a faster speed. Desire could be blind or it may make you see things that do not even exist. It is short lived, too short lived. And when it turns off it may left you being a stranger. The reawakening of desire is also not strange. but the fate of it is to die soon. One way or other. Then what it is that do not die? Feelings may be? Feelings may take different forms, from palpitations to calmness, from sparkling eyes to tearful ones, from headaches to smiles, from insomnia to somnolence, from nearness to separation, from desire to abstinence, they remain. They transform but persist. Desire may be mysterious but without feelings they are nothing but emptiness.

It was one thing not having access It was another having access and denying the right to contact He was in her palms. she watched the cell phone lying in her palm then, at a mere distance of a single touch. She knew all the places to connect to him, yet they were miles apart, at a distance which makes words go silent. They were in a state of denial. They both.

I found something extra-ordinary in all these. And trust me it wasn't ORDINARY And this wrenched my heart away!

There wasn't a deliberate effort to create a story But isn't it wonderful to be a part of an extraordinary story in the making? To be a character of an epic is itself charming. always wondering what will be next?

Help me. I'm distracted. 

Growing out of the boundaries of time and space is not an ordinary phenomenon. You lose track of the ticking clock, the changing dates and the slipping moments. You are in a delusive state where things are happening yet you stay still in your mental state. A trance, deep musing or hypnosis. We are somewhere out of the real world while being a part of it. The surprising point is not being in a state of hypnosis. The surprising fact is that even while being in a different mental state altogether, there are certain things you do not forget. Certain things and certain people. Certain thoughts and certain feelings. I went through such a phase in past few days, while I was being ill, running fever, mentally out of the real world and devoid of orientation of time and space. Even then some things remain as such. I kept on writing my blog, which is somehow has become an essential component of my life. And now when I look back, open the blog, read what I wrote, I feel I wrote with same

I wonder if we pass through time again or our souls wander through this universe even before we exist. This is also amazing that through the passage of centuries some feelings survive and never change. The times we are going though had already been faced by others in a completely different era. I was going through Rumi's poetry and found him expressing what I still could not have. I saw what he went through ages ago, and yet through his words I could feel his feelings. Truly his words are more emphatic. This is the connection I have with Rumi even if we are ages apart. If I'd known how savage Love is I'd have blocked the door of Love's house Beaten a drum, shouted 'keep away!' But I'm in the house.... helpless......

Wish life was more like sketching you draw what you want and its right there!

Wish a night that begins with your dream Wish a morning that is next to your skin Wish a sketch that has me in your arms Wish a poem that survives through times Wish a season of never ending bliss Wish a fragrance that smells like love Wish a rain that runs though pores Wish a feeling that reaches to the core Wish ...... (And thus the never-ending wishlist)

The warmth of a feverish body brings back memories of the skin burning with pure desire making me wonder can they be compared?

Why is it so When times aren't easy They become frozen Why is it so When we wish to Freeze the dial The moments slip fast

Its so like walking endlessly In the frightening darkness of A never-ending blind tunnel In the weakening hope of an exit Leading to the sunshine of your being

This chilled October morning with falling leaves on ground relate so much to me and the prevailing melancholy

Take away my hectic days but not my empty nights for that's when I seek You and thus seek myself.

No, I do not miss you anymore.  But then again, I miss you so differently, utterly, absolutely.

Wish I could be more than Just a small worthless chapter in your life.

They say every love-story has to have a song What if there is none? What if there are more than one?

 

A car with tinted glasses An empty road by the beach A long drive all alone With sun shades on & some non sense music What could be better To shed the unshed tears I dont want a shoulder, just a car with tinted glasses!

When the clock hands stuck The similar hours on dial My skin grows feverish The vision goes blurred The breath gets tattered

At the silent hour Of this warm October night I woke up to a restless sight The moon was nowhere to be found In the solitude of darker nights Though we had similarities The akening awaiting The similar loneliness Yet the moon run away to Hide in some nights but My awaiting never ceases

If you can not stop being who you are How can I stop feeling What I feel!

I dread my solitude cuz it doesn't come alone it brings your echoes in the emptiness of my being and makes me lonelier

If you can't be near Then why must be In my thoughts and dreams?

Who knows where time would lead us There are tendencies, to modify, to change, to rediscover, to re-seek in such transforming times, who knows where will we be next When shall we meet only to depart once more who knows what the next moment of togetherness will bring on a few more intimate moments a few more steps closer or stillness, coldness and a chilled ardor who knows? the inclination, the loyalty, the fascination may decline too if it tends to incline each time In next few years, we may not see each other or may see each other every other night In next decade, we may not exist or may exist in each others heart forever who knows?

Nothing reminded me of you Wearing your favorite color Sprays of mist on the neck Tinkling of silver bangles Glittering diamond ring Hair tied up in a knot Hands devoid of henna The Eid festivities and All the busy moments Nothing reminded me of you For the forgotten needs reminders.

Although I pretended Still let me admit It wasn't easy Sleeping without You

Tonight I want to dig out this statement as much as I could no strings attached 1) Doing something for someone without asking for anything in return. 2) Being in a relationship with someone, while still dating other people. This is so there is not anxiety of worrying about where him or her is or what him or her is doing.  1) It is ok, I will do you a favor...no strings attached! 2) I am so glad there are no strings attached with Dave. I can just be free and do whatever I want. Adam : Hey, you can't call me and tell me that you miss me. I don't want to have that conversation on the phone. So you can't text me and you can't e-mail me and you can't write on my wall. Like, if you really miss me, you need to grow up and get in your car and come and see me.

The desire rushing across your veins spreads the flames across mine That's the moment worth living for    

When I'm confused I find the answer in Quran When I'm lonely I find Him closer.

I found you somewhere between darkness and illumination between shadow and light between silence and words between distance and nearness