Silent Whispers - Revisited

Sometimes I can not decide what is better Staying up in crazy nights with you or Sleeping madly in these cold nights

In the end its your restlessness derives you to creation. But at times its too perturbed to lead you to pain. And pain when not fully expressed ,intensifies. Leading to more crativity. Thus the visious circle.

We all seek refuge in whatever we do in one place or other in one man or another in the charismatic beauties in the enchanting gossips in search for the unknown but tranquility lies somewhere in the heart that in 'known'

An eraser to rub it all off a shed group of memory cells never to replenish a dust covered old book never to reopen a stone heart non-reactive never to feel again That is this morning's only wish For I want to be forgotten

Not that I didn't meet any handsome men after you. I simply refused to look up to them. Something went wrong when I saw you first. Something built up. Something broke down. Your image persists and my eyes remain confined.

PC Lahore Dec 2013 Christmas is all about remembering It was only last year Already seems a lost memory

There is so much suffering in people around me I feel suffocation looking for a breath of fresh air

The first winter rain Is being sent for me This chilled morning As it kissed my hair Moving on to forehead Giving me assurance I was not alone

Each winter night Descends through the fog The delicate dew drops To sleep on the shoulders Of petals and leaves Only to disappear Well before sunrise Leaving behind moisture With the unbroken promise Of seeing the next night

“I don’t miss anyone. If I did I would do something about it. Besides, some people come back...in dreams. That’s when they’re honest.”  ―  Donna Lynn Hope

But why in the whole wide world it was you, I met?

Recite me an Ayah that the Lord delivered for us Read me a poem that I wrote for thee Draw me a sketch that show our shadows together Sing me a song that would bind us forever Cure me if you can For my soul is restless In this grievous December

Why do they revisit When we don't want to remember When we so want to forget?

I am an unfortunate mother Who carried hundreds of fetuses And gave birth to hundreds of lives If I had known their fearful fate I would have aborted them all If mourning is what I have to do Wish they were not being born

Three things keep me warm in December An old sweater A mug of black coffee Your thoughts

Wishing a chilled winter morning That begins in your arms

It doesn't matter, not anymore If you are near or far around or depart its like a tree I planted and left unattended but each time I look its growing tall and shady expanding like a canopy its branches envelope Its fragrance enchants Its leaves speak the language that is just for us For you and for me Every time and any time We are together The bliss persists so it does not matter, not anymore

Words like these do not come easily. You  have to travel through the 'absence' to create them.

Wish I could hide and hibernate somewhere before anyone else Wish I was a whirling dervish belonging to Rumi tribe I'm seeing now how fake this big world is  and how it loses its glory for me

So today I accepted the most denied fact that he is leaving us all of us, very soon. The time is so short but then what could we have done if we had time. One of the days when I feel most helpless. When I don't even feel like praying. There is not much hope left.

Would you dance If I asked you to dance? Would you run And never look back? Would you cry If you saw me crying? And would you save my soul, tonight? Would you tremble If I touched your lips? Would you laugh? Oh please tell me this. Now would you die For the one you loved? Hold me in your arms, tonight. Would you swear That you'll always be mine? Or would you lie? Would you run and hide? Am I in too deep? Have I lost my mind? I don't care... You're here tonight. Listening to Hero by  ENRIQUE IGLESIAS

This is an odd hour of the night Odd time to wake up Odd time to do left overs Odd time to think deeply Odd time to miss you

Your name is what I look for on screen, in a book, on a painting on the sand by the sea shore on the clouds that canopy me in the air that pass me by in the fragrance that I apply in the flowers that blossom in the songs that are played in the winter that is around

Some dreams are strange and they leave strange effects on me It was one such dream that was with me throughout last night leaving my morning lonelier and my heart heavier

There are realities and then there are harsh realities Undeniable truths , hard hit  facts The state of denial makes it worse The acceptance can progress to depression How to cope is the question?

Aimless awaiting is like wasting time But then sometimes wasting time is all we could do!

 Shadow leaves me alone in the darkness So unlike the feeling of your presence Which never deserts me

In the silence of dark hours Burns through my soul A deep undeniable yearning For the sight so enchanting For the voice so charming For the feel so exhilarating For everything may fade out But the unfulfilled yearning

I am a reader Nothing is more pleasant Than a lonely evening with a book And one of these cold winter nights In the aura of loneliness With all the finest details With all the hidden treasures I would love to read you