Silent Whispers - Revisited

There could be ill define margins in tissues under a microscope. A pathologist can pick 'em up. There may be ill define logic in an argument, a critic can catch it. There could be ill define lines under your eyes, an observant can point that out. But when there is ill define pain prevailing inside you, there aren't many who could reach to it. It just persists. at times for eternity.

If you don't love me, Pretend.

What creates taboos? Why there are things which we can not discuss openly. Why there are ruthless, shameless things happening around us and can not be stopped. Why could be people so inhumane, where they lose the integrity and respect of relations to transform into animals? Animals could be much better though, in certain aspects. Why if they do, what they do, could be accepted by society, but when people speak of the issue it becomes a taboo? I read taboo, sometime back. I did not know then, a day might come and I myself would think of writing over a taboo topic.

Why do I have to know the unknown? Sometimes we are better off without knowing certain things. unknown may not bother you, known would follow you to the core. Till you find yourself drowned in its depth.

Thought I was busy, I was wrong. I am extremely busy. And yes I am deliberately doing this to myself. Indulgence for a workaholic is a blessing. A purposeful effort to tire each muscle and bone so that one can not "think". And even then if thoughts keep coming back, you are in a dilemma. Stuck up. Failed.

I heard people may kill softly, Don't know though if a term like soft suicide exists?

Is Waqt To Yun Lagta Hai Ab Kuch Bhi Nahin Hai Mahtab Na Suraj Na Andhera Na Savera Aankhon K DarichoN Men Kisi Husn Ki chilman Aur Dil Ki Panaahon Men Kisi Dard Ka Dera Mumkin Hai Koi Veham Ho Mumkin Hai Suna Ho Galiyon Men Kisi Chaap Ka ik Aakhiri Phera Shaakhon Men Khayaalon K Ghaney Pairr Ki Shayad Ab Aa k Karey ga Na Koi Khwaab Basera Ik Bair Na Ik Mehar Na Ik Rabt Na Rishta Tera Koi Apna Na Paraya Koi Mera

The captivating tunes of a beautifully played sitar stopped my busy nerves and moving fingers I noticed out of nowhere A single drop of tear on my eye lash I blinked It wont go away Either I should not work or should I stop listening to the captivating tunes of a beautifully played sitar?

And today someone came and told me, I admire you for who you are, how do you survive, how do you keep your spirits alive? How do you manage your various inclinations? And There I was not wondering at her admiration, on the contrary, it made me ponder over the time lapse,  the repetition of the same events I went through in recent past, the depressions, the loneliness, the mellow spirits, the shallow feelings, it all came back today. I remember I said those similar words to someone else too, who was my mentor and ideal for striving hard and  surviving and for keeping the smile alive. So it turns out that time repeats itself, today where she is, I was someday, and today where I am , I desired to be the other day. And then how I see from here is that, where I want to be , I shall be there soon too. But does the desire ever fade? We keep on running but are we ever satisfied? For me its a big No. For You, go find yourself. I know one thing, the day my desires are gon...

At times even big jokes would not effect you, and at others a tiny small thing can bring along the most natural smile. Like seeing a lost friend after a long time, Like playing with a tiny naughty toddler, Like hearing a new song that matches your mood!

When You find the gold in my eyes,  the orange in my cheeks, the waves in my hair and the dryness on my lips know that You have colored me Autumn.

Sometimes the realization strikes You with a big bang and you remain bewildered and awestruck. The realization of an emotional jam. They are those times when you hate being in love.

Her MP3 player was on with non stop  Nayyara Noor singing "Aey ishq humain barbaad na ker" ("O Love do not desolate me") Clad in her black pajamas, lying on her stomach with a pillow under her chin, her eyes closed , legs crossed , it was her late night hour , her very own, when she was alone with herself. Sometime ago she was busy with her assignment that was due to submit in the morning when she saw her cell phone displaying a number from Spain. And then she turned it to a silent mode. Still she could see the number blinking and it was enough to distract her from studies and to disturb her to the very core. And now when Nayyara in her tender voice was singing this sad ghazal, a single tear was blinking in her eye. She put the cell phone under another pillow so she could not see who was trying to reach her.   "You can not reach me now, its over." She said to an unseen image. She could not know when her father came inside her ro...

I wish life was, as gentle as your voice, as warm as your hands, as sweet as your words, as beautiful as your eyes.

رنگ ریز مرے رنگ کے مجھکو اپنے رنگ میں چھوڑر دیا دھوپ میں تنہا rung raiz meray rung kay mujhko apnay rung main chorr diya dhoop main tanha

Tell me an untold tale read me an unread book speak to me endless-ly till your voice is absorbed into my very senses.

We do remember the beginnings oh so well Or is it the ending that feels like beginning?

I'm surprised to find one of my published stories being available on 'net. http://freeurdudigest.blogspot.com/2013/06/ik-lamha-e-jawidan-novel-by-nazish-amin.html

When raindrops kissed the forehead of a dry deserted land The essence of love evolves in the form of soothing fragrance Can we play the characters of this epic story While I become the dry land and you portraying the raindrops kiss my forehead with love seal my fragrance forever.

جب دھرتی کے سوکھے ماتھے پر  بوندوں نے پیار کا لمس دھرا  سوندھی متی کی خوشبو سے   وصل کا گہرا راز کھلا صدیوں پرانے قصّے کو       چلو آج مجسّم کر دیکھیں   میں دھرتی کا کردار بنوں  تم بوند بن کر آ پنھچو   مرے ماتھے پر اپنا  لمس دھرو  اور مجھ کو معطر کر جاؤ 

Early morning is so quiet this quietness suffices me the grass is wet under my feet this softness enchants me the plants undergo meditation this stillness delights me

Phases come and go yet some may linger on and paste like a sticky note on the page of your heart.

As an steaming cup of black coffee along with tinge of bitterness brings a sense of relief some bitter-sweet memories may also bring along a tinge of sweet smile.

They say nothing lasts forever but let me rephrase, A Hajj does. It is a memory that is never erased even if the whole clone of memory cells are replenished, even if you are surviving an Alzheimer's disease, even then i am sure, the feeling and memories of Hajj never fade out. This is a blind love, it pulls you towards itself, you run madly towards your beloved, never minding leaving behind your loved ones. The  attraction is so powerful, for once you are trapped, you are gone forever. Even after coming back from the Holy land, one is so equipped with the rituals, that every year the Zul Hajj moon sighting can evoke the same restless feeling in the depth of your soul. You tend to fly away with all the love birds, millions of them, travelling across continents to gain in return, the ultimate reward of Love , Peace, Purity. My heart is one such love bird today, waiting to be clad in white uniform, fly away to the far away Holy land.

I do not know If I could ever be a reason of Your distraction If so, I wish that moment be tonight.

میرے چارہ گر یہ جو زخم ، زخم سے خواب ہیں، یہ جو رات ہے میرے چار سو مرے بےخبر ، مرے بےنشاں ، میں تھا کس نگر ، تو رھا کہاں کہ زماں ، مکاں کی یہ وسعتیں ، تجھے دیکھنے کو ترس گئیں وہ مرے نصیب کی بارشیں ، کسی اور چھت پر برس گئیں Amjad Islam Amjad

Noticed today How the falling leaves  Tend to change colors Akin to your eyes.

Silence can be wonderful. The words that are lost may take you into another alley, A world of feelings only, existent but unexpressed You explore some more, you discover some more The feelings which were yet unknown. Yes, silence can be wonderful.

Dear Insomnia: Please leave me alone for a while. Poor Me.

Irony it could be, but it is more sever than that. When you run away from someone a moment and then the next moment you find yourself  running towards the same? When you smile with the one, you tend to cry your heart with? When you would like to punch him in the nose, yet the next moment you would want to hug him close. When you don't want to hear a name, and the next day you don't catch your breath until you have any news from him? Love stories do exist and so do hate stories..... but when you find yourself in such dilemma , believe me, you are in the making of a love-hate story.