Silent Whispers - Revisited

فون مستقل بج رہا تھا ، لالہ اس کا فون اٹھاے ٹیریس پر اے  اس کا دل  دھرکا  یہ بے وقت فون؟ ، کہیں ہسپتال سے نہ ہو  یوں بھی کئی گھنٹوں سے اسے بے چینی نے گھیرا ہوا تھا   نرس نے اسے بتایا کہ زیبی گل کو انتہائی سیریس حالت میں  ہسپتال لایا  گیا ہے  اور زینیا شاہ کو فورن ہسپتال پہنچنا چاہیے   صرف ایک لمحے کو اس  کے ہاتھ کانپے تھے ، پھر اس کی پروفیشنل طبعیت تیزی سے  فعال  ہوئی تھی  اس نے تکنیشین کو فون   کر کے آپریشن تھیٹر تیار کرنے کو کہا ، ساتھ ہی انستھٹسٹ اور اپنے سینئر سرجن کو ہسپتال پہنچنے کی درخواست کی  اس دوران لالہ  اس کی ہدایت پر گاڑی  نکل چکے تھے ، وہ جلدی سے دوڑتی ہوئی گاڑی میں سوار ہوئی اور گاڑی  ہسپتال کی جانب روانہ ہوئی  زیبی  گل زینیا شاہ کے لیے صرف ایک مریضہ نہیں تھی . وہ اس کے لیے اس معاشرے میں ہونے والی نہ انصافیوں کے خلاف آواز  تھی ، وہ اس کے لیے  امید کی ایک کرن تھی جسے وہ کسی قیمت پر بجھنے نہیں دینا چاہتی تھی. مگر اب ایسا محسوس ہو رہا تھا کہ  اس کرن کی لو ٹمٹما  رہی ہے  ان جانے میں ہی زینیا کی آنکھوں میں دھند اتر آئی ، آنسوؤں کی دھند. ویسے ہی اس کا

The rainbow that I painted reflected the shades of grey The lipstick that was pink painted my lips purple The dress I was clad in suddenly appeared blue The leaf that was fallen gave an orange hue The colors of my life manifest a major clue.

In the semi conscious state between sleepiness and wakefulness I often think of you

Staying up alone in the late hours of a solitary night is worthless only if, it is for old time's sake.

Sometimes it feels so nice to revisit olden times Re-reading Re-imagining Re-feeling Sometimes its worthwhile to go back in times.

Sometimes you go through words which bring back memories. I wish I didn't read them tonight. It brought back so much, I am not supposed to remember. https://www.facebook.com/WelcomeHomeOriginal/photos/a.392785137448108.88435.392782620781693/902485673144716/?type=1&theater

Sometimes I wonder where does true happiness lie? How distant and how hidden? Lost where and found where? And then after being at a loss of running after "true" happiness , I sought the fake ones. Always thinking they were easy to find. Fake smiles, fake gestures, fake appreciations, fake remarks, fake relations. Yes they were easily found but less sustaining. They were like unpredictable storms, which come and go sometimes without leaving their marks. Ending only in turmoil. Then came the conflict of thankfulness. So may be I was being ungrateful, Ungrateful for having who and what I already had. Practicing being modest was no big deal , as it was my second self, To people, to fellows, to family, to relatives, to even servants, I was thankful to the core but that neither brought me happiness nor satisfaction. Expectations? does it mean that I expect a bit too much from people around and when they can not come up to expectation, I am unhappy. May be I was giving too mu

Yes I would love to die in a fasting state in Ramzan but not due to heat! If this heat wave persists for a few more days I may give in.

So amongst a rush this Holy month began And for a moment when I stop to feel its beginning I find solace and memories inside me

With You gone I sought refuge in the canopy of books in the shelter of words in the arms of fragrance in the warmth of nights in the charms of dreams All in_futile attempts for nothing could replace your warmth, fragrance or charms your words, nights or arms.

You had a fear of something eventful happening to your health status. Many times you told me and I tried to deny your fear as many times. At times our fears stand in front of us like horrifying mountains but I am sure you will climb this too like you did so many before. You will come back to us cheerfully. There are many who are waiting for your return. Don't keep us awaiting so long.

How a name which was a name alone evolves and transforms into a bond where existence preferred and and abstinence feared how time travels to bring closer the two who were none but strangers how sleep staggers and dreams shattered and never let them be together

Sometimes all it needs is a connection to feel the suffering and pain of a beloved.

When someone very dear is unwell, nothing seems alright.

And then comes a time when we lose the track of time and space and keep afloating into nothingness.

Bringing the taste of sand to my lips and the dry burning to my eyes along with the waves of cold winds the sand storm this evening  felt like the moment, we parted.

Your name is nothing but A three letter word And in this summer heat when Everything is melting away Your name remains.

Sacred nights bring so much They also bring along memories. 

In this scorching heat of 46 degrees Celsius I am melting like a margarine bar on stove!