Happiness

Sometimes I wonder where does true happiness lie? How distant and how hidden? Lost where and found where?
And then after being at a loss of running after "true" happiness , I sought the fake ones. Always thinking they were easy to find. Fake smiles, fake gestures, fake appreciations, fake remarks, fake relations.
Yes they were easily found but less sustaining. They were like unpredictable storms, which come and go sometimes without leaving their marks. Ending only in turmoil.

Then came the conflict of thankfulness. So may be I was being ungrateful, Ungrateful for having who and what I already had. Practicing being modest was no big deal , as it was my second self, To people, to fellows, to family, to relatives, to even servants, I was thankful to the core but that neither brought me happiness nor satisfaction.

Expectations? does it mean that I expect a bit too much from people around and when they can not come up to expectation, I am unhappy. May be I was giving too much and expecting the same in return, so I tried being extra nice , giving only-receiving nothing person, But then being human was such a bigger fault, I still expected a slight bit in return, slightest of attention, bits of appreciation, minor care, and fragments of love. Too much to ask for?

Looking? was looking enough? looking for happiness is never enough, that's what I learnt in this life. Its looking along with strong desire to find it, The stronger the desire, the closer it will get through, May be in life, only for a short span of time we may have a chance to hold on to real happiness, the one that brightens your skin, energize your body and equally quenches your soul.

Most of the time we do not realize, only after they slipped by, that those were moments of holy happiness. but later in life, somewhere on the rough road of a long track, even their memories help to derive peace. But many of us are even not that fortunate.

I feel happiness is not a secluded feeling, it is linked with gratitude, not expecting much, desires and soul searching. Altogether.

And thus it remains a rare thing to find.


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