Silent Whispers - Revisited

All our life we fear many fears The loss of the loved one is The greatest of all And still when they leave To their final abode Though there is no returning back We still wait for them With as much as a tiny hope To keep us moving ahead

The forceful wind today Knocks at every door Slams them all shut Grating window sills And while moving stubbornly Takes away with it Fallen leaves and dust storm The tiny sand particles Burn my drying eyes Block my skin pores Make a home in my hair As I walk on aimless On this dust stricken path For moving ahead is life For stopping would make me dead

Surrender brings ecstasy To give in wholly and completely Where there is no objection or denial Its as if swimming in the river and leaving yourself completely to the flow of waves, whether they be kind or angry, no matter where they take you or how they keep you But if you notice this type of surrender won't come easily It is only a true emotion that builds up this connection Either with another soul or the Creator Its only a strong bond that would make you give in Only true love where there is denial of self and acceptance of beloved And this type of surrender brings an ecstasy that lasts a lifetime.

Some nights bring dreams Akin to reality When you are sheltered by the arms that are intangible But then in the arms of the beloved You may see the dreams most wonderful You may find the sleep most peaceful

اس نے اتنے  تواتر سے گھڑی شاید ہی کبھی دیکھی ہو . انتظار بھی عجیب ہے ،مختصر   ہو تو پر لطف لگتا ہے ، طویل تر ہو تو لذت کی جگہ اذیت لے لیتی ہے   ناشتے کی میز پر اس کا خیال تھا وہ مل جاتے  گی ، کیوں کہ گئی رات اپنے کمرے میں واپس جانے والوں میں وہ  سر فہرست تھی   کانفرنس کا دوسرا دن شروع بھی ہو چکا تھا اور وہ ہنوز غایب تھی. عمر حیات کو الجھن ہونے لگی ، وہ کیوں اس کے بارے میں سوچ رہا تھا ؟ کانفرنس ہال کے اندر باہر وہ کئی چکر کاٹ چکا تھا ، شاید اسے رات محسوس ہونے والی زینیا کے  لہجے کی تلخی نے اچھا خاصا پریشان  کیا تھا، کبھی کبھی اپنے آپ کو بھی جواز پیش کرنا پڑتے ہیں اور وہی لمحے سب سے مشکل ہوتے ہیں ، سب لوگوں سے چھپایا بھی جا سکتا ہے اور جھوٹ  بھی بولا جا سکتا ہے ، اپنے آپ سے نہیں  ، سو وہ خود کواپنی ہی بے   چینی کے جواز دے رہا تھا  کوئی دس بجے کے قریب انکل شاہ سے ملا قات  ہوئی ، وہ واپس جانے کے لیےتیار  تھے "میں چلتا ہوں عمر،  بہت خوبص...

Someone after reading my writings remarked they are like a dark tunnel where one is lost in a dream fantasy I wish I could explain It is myself who is a dark tunnel, anyone try to come inside find himself lost forever and then it is not easy to find a way out. The only difference may be I am not a dream fantasy rather a bittersweet reality. That's the reason I keep myself shut. All doors closed with a No Entry signboard. You gotto be too daring to take a risk.

“People only tell lies when there is something they are terribly frightened of losing.”  “When we lose people we love, we should never disturb their souls, whether living or dead. Instead. we should find consolation in an object that reminds you of them, something...I don't know...even an earring”  “Happiness means being close to the one you love, that's all. (Taking immediate possession is not necessary.)”  ―  Orhan Pamuk ,  The Museum of Innocence

We tend to feel our feelings are uniquely personal, not belonging to anyone else, never been experienced by another soul before. And then somehow we got to know of someone who had gone through the same feelings and more so, in another time and another zone in yet another era. The book I am reading is giving me surprising jolts. Seemingly the character been described in it had a soul connection with mine.

Sometimes even the freshest morning breeze feels heavy on your heart So a day with a heavy heart. What a lovely start to a week.

And then the restlessness takes different forms to survive and to prevail And thus the story goes on.

 اس نے دھند میں لپٹا  ہیولہ  دیکھا تھا جو ہولے ہولے کپکپا رہا تھا  اسے حیرت نہیں  ہوئی ، رات جتنی گہری ہوتی  جا رہی تھی اتنی ہی سرد بھی ہوتی جاتی تھی   کبھی کبھی ہم دیکھتے ہیں  اور خاموشی سے دیکھتے ہیں ، دور سے، ٹھہر ٹھہر  کر، کبھی بظاھر اور کبھی چپکے سے  دیکھے   جاتے ہیں  کیوں کہ اس کے سوا کوئی چارہ نہیں ہوتا  کبھی گفتگو کرنا اور فاصلے سمیٹنا آسان  نہیں ہوتا ، کبھی بہت  ہی قربت کے تعلّق  کے باوجود  اجنبیت  کی چادر اوڑھنی پڑھتی ہے  کبھی اجنبیت کا رشتہ سب سے مضبوط حوالہ بن جاتا ہے  ایسے میں دیکھنے کے سوا کوئی اور چارہ نہیں ہوتا   سو  وہ دیکھ رہا تھا  اور فاصلوں کو سمیٹنے کی کوئی چھوٹی سی کوشش کرناچاہ  رہا تھا ، اس لیے وہ کافی خریدنے کے لیے ہوٹل کے اندروں میں چلا آیا تھا ======================================== موسیقی اور شاعری جب دونوں ایک خوبصورت ملاپ کی صورت میں سامنے ہوں تو کون ذی  ہوش ہوگا جو مدہوش نہ ہ...

You will not have to ask  If you could read the text of my feelings reflecting in my eyes

Sham e Shehr e YaraN Page 184-195 For reading online or DL http://zubiweb.net/hina-digest-january-2015-free-download/ Received today the review of the story from Mr. Akhtar Wasim Dar. Saving it here for future reference.

There comes a time when of all the beautiful enchanting heart warming companies you look for the one that is missing When you come to know that your search is finally over the same moment reality dawns the fact that this is a never ending journey And the secret of beautiful memories lies in the fact that there is greater distance  in between

But then one needs some more time to hold breath, capture the moments and turn them into memories

Another lovely morning Bringing solitude Leaving me abondoned Among this crowd With my own feelings

By the serene sea bank when the skin is caressed  by the softly flowing breeze I can see someone rowing the boat oh so slowly and  the seagulls flying playfully hovering over the silent me In the distant shadows of  tall coconut trees the time was passing by like a soft melody Just then suddenly the ticking soft melody the flowing soft breeze the slowly rowing boat the playfully flying seagull and a silently beating heart all came to a halt Right at the moment when I happened to catch a reflection of your glimpse

Let me hide my eyes From yours For I fear they will read The madness, the love The startling intimacy And even beyond

If we give what  we treasure most to a being we love with all our hearts, if we can do that without expecting anything in return , then the world becomes a beautiful place. Orhan Pamuk Museum of innocence 

If it is not love then let it not be For comes a phase in life when It becomes secondary to ask for Love, time, compassion, desire In return There comes a time in life when The one sided feelings are selfless They just grow like a tall tree Providing shade and support Without expecting anything in return